Hey, folks! Begging your pardon
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Excuse me! Sorry to barge in
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Now let's skip the tears and start on the
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whole You know
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Being dead thing
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You're doomed! Enjoy the singing
The sword of Damocles is swinging
And if I hear your cell-phone ringing
The whole being dead thing
Death can get a person stressed
"We should have carpe'd way more di ems
Now we're never gonna see 'em!"
I can show you what comes next
I do this bullshit, like, eight times a week
So just relax, you'll be fine
Drink your fifty-dollar wine
Welcome to a show about death
gets on fine here Like
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Rodgers, Hart, and Hammer stein here
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The women's bathroom has no line here Just,
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pee where you want The
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whole being dead thing
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You're just gonna love the folks here
Yeah, I know you're woke,
but you can take a joke here
And every show I do, like, a ton of coke here
Ah, the whole being dead thing
"I work out", "I eat clean"
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Jesus, pass the Dram a mine
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Time to face the brutal truth
'Cause we're all on a hitlist
Might not live 'til Christmas
Choke to death on Triscuits
Hey, that's just statistics
So take a little break here
But there's a giant snake here
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Welcome to a show about death
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Death is taboo, but it's hardly something new
There's nothing medical professionals
'Cept maybe just bill you
(If you die while listening to this album
It's still gonna keep playing)
There's no destiny or fate
Filled with people that you hate
And on a certain date, the universe
kills you
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That's the thing with life No one
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Toss that body in the pit
"Gosh, it's awful, ain't it tragic?"
"Blah, blah, Bible, Je sus magic"
When you're dead, who gives a shit?
No Pilates, no more yo ga
'Namaste", you freakin' posers
From the cradle to cremation
Death just needs a little conversation
I have mastered the art (...es I rae) Of
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tearing conven tion a part (...es I rae) So,
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how about we all make a start On the
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