Roy taught me how to play baseball
and do the foxtrot on the harp
Taught me how to swim and fish and tell
the difference between bass and carp
Taught me how to snap my fingers whistle
through my teeth oh Uncle Roy
He sure took time to make times good
for a little pesty half grown boy
Aunt Kathleen would wash my clothes and blow
my nose whenever nature called
Darn my socks and damn the pox but kept
me out of school from fall to fall
Gave me movie money though I never
did my chores the way I should
To a nasty little nephew Kathleen
you sure made aunthood awful good
And Freddy used to laughed to me
whenever something valuable got broke
He taught me how to climb a tree about birds
and bees and taught me how to smoke
He took me on a first date I was scared
to death but he said you'll do fine
Good buddy you're my cousin but
you seem more like a brother of mine
But you can't go home to the good times
you can't go home anymore
Roy's all crippled up now Kathleen
can hardly see
Freddy's off somewhere to fight a war
But you can't go home to the good times
you can't go home anymore
Everything has changed and who
were there to blame
Gone far that you just
can't go home
[ strings ]
Looking back I'd say I had the best
childhood that money just can't buy
And I owe it all to free good folks who
took me in when mom began to die
They always told me son just do what's right
and you'll be proud just wait and see
Well Roy and Kathleen I'm only proud that
you're the ones who's proud of me
But you can't go home to the good times
you can't go home anymore
Roy's rheumatism Kathleen's cataract and
Freddy's fightin' someone else's war