I think I would like to relate to you
a brief sagacity
concerning the most
ambulatory homo sapien
that ever asphyxiated upon
a globe.
Folks, want to tell you
about a man named Bloom.
He comes from down in New Orleans,
and he made his living stealing chickens
and everything that he could say.
Now, you know this pot -eyed man,
he runs so fast
that his feet wouldn't stand a roll.
And if a freight train passed,
no matter how fast
he could always get on board.
He was a travelin' man.
He certainly was a travelin' man.
The travelest man, John,
that there ever was in the land.
He traveled
and he was known for miles around.
And he never got caught
and he never got worked
until the police shot him down.
Now the police hired a motor car
just to chase after my buddy Bloom,
they chase him from five o
'clock in the morning
till eight in the late, late, late afternoon.
This Popeye man, he runs so fast,
they say flames shot out of his heel,
while he pointed out the cotton,
he scorched the corn,
he made a road to the farmer's field.
police shot him down
Now the police finally
caught up with Blume,
had him out to hang one day.
Executioner leaned over
and said, my good man,
have you any last words you desire to say?
I said, so happens, your honor,
I do have a brief speech prepared,
if you'd bow your head one
moment in prayer.
And then he winked one eye
and crossed both legs
And vanished straight up in the air
Cause he was a travelin' man
He certainly was a travelin' man
The travelest man
Well, that there ever was in the land
You know Craig, he traveled
He was known for miles around
And he never got caught
And he never got caught
Until the police shot him dead
Now, Bloom was on the Titanic
when he put out to sea.
He was playing B -flat clarinet
in the orchestra that rendered Mirror,
My God to Thee.
Some people saw him
when he jumped overboard.
They said, did you get a load
of that crazy fool?
But friends,
just 45 minutes right after that,
He was shootin' cracks
in Liverpool, I mean
A travelin' man, Lord
He certainly was a travelin' man
The travelest man in world
That there ever was in the land
He traveled, he was known for mountainin'
George never got caught, never got caught
Until the police shot him down
Now, you know, the European police caught up with Bloom,
shot him in the head.
People come round from miles on down
just to observe the man as he
lay dead.
Telegrammed back to the
States to his mama
before she come all catty with tears.
She reached down to
open up the coffin lid
And that fool had disappeared
I want to tell you
A traveling man
He certainly was a traveling man
The travelest man in world
That there ever was in the land
And he traveled
And he was long for miles and miles
And never got caught
And never got walked
Until the police shot him
down
Now I want you to understand
that this man was rapid, swift,
abrupt, sudden, precipitous.
This guy was so fast.
They used to say that the man
could turn off the light
and get under the covers
before the room got dark.
Now one day, Bloom had to go to the well
to fetch a pail of water.
The distance this rapscallion
had to traverse
was approximately three
miles and a quarter.
Now he got to the well, filled up the bucket,
on his way back he stumbled,
dropped the pail and fell down.
He run back to the house,
grabbed another bucket
and poured the water before
it hit the ground.
A traveling man.
He certainly was a traveling man.
The travelest man, Lord,
that there ever was in the land.
He traveled, and he was known
for miles around.
And I never got caught, never got welcomed
till the police shot him down