They're
either too young or too old.
They're either too gray or
too grassy green.
The pickings are poor and
the crop is lean.
What's good is in the army,
what's left, honey,
will never harm me.
They're either too old or too young
And darling Pearl will never get stung
You know what,
tomorrow I'm gonna go hiking
With the Eagle Scout or less
I'm lucky and I get a little call
from Grandpa
For a snappy game of chess
I'm finding it easy to stay
good as gold
They're either too young or too old
Darlin', there's such a choice,
they're either bald or they're bold
I'm even down to the wheelchair,
well I have a choice, and a bassinet
But my heart refuses to be upset
Be cause I simply can't compel it to,
with no Marines to tell it to
I'm either their first little breath of spring
Or else I'm their last little fling
I either get a fossil
or an adolescent pup
I either have to hold him off
or else I gotta hold him up
The battle is on,
but the fortress will hold
They're either too young or too old
Darlin', I'll never, never fail you
While you are in Australia
Or out in the Aleutians,
or off among the Routians
And flying over Egypt,
your heart will never be gypped
And when you get over to Egypt,
I'll still be what I've been to
Look the field over,
lo and behold
They're either too young or too
old
The old rascal tried to nudge
me yesterday.
He's kidding.
Give me the middle size, honey.