You've heard of
the wonderful Christmas Goose
and the Walloping Great Meat Pie
But I think myself it's not much use
to tell you a monstrous lie
I'll tell you of a wonder now,
as true as I'm a sinner
About a wonderful sucking pig
we had for Christmas dinner
That great, incredible,
wonderfully edible marvel of
a Christmas pig
The very first day the pig was born
he cut a few rummy capers
He swallowed up two big fields of corn
and forty -two tonne of taters
They took and drewed out all his teeth,
but that just made him snarly
He bolted a wagon load of
Swedes
and a wagon load of barley
That great, incredible,
wonderfully edible marvel of a Christmas pig
This wonderful pig he got so fat
he overflowed Hyde Park
His head, they say, when three weeks old
was big as Noah's ark
Leg was like a greasy pole
with a ton of bristles on it
An d his curly tail went
pulled out straight
with the shape of a lady's bonnet
That great, incredible,
wonderfully edible marvel of a
Christmas pig!
One year was big as Temple Bar,
or so the people tell us
And every time he heaved a sight
was like a blacksmith's bellows
His back was like Blackfriar's bridge
and if I'm not mistaken
His head and neck was made of pork
and his latter end was bacon
That great, incredible,
wonderfully edible
marvel of a Christmas pig!
To kill this marvellous Christmas pig
they all got tired of trying
For I won't tell you a word of a lie,
he was seventeen years in dying
And when at last they'd laid him out,
this pig that was so frisky
At Charing Cross they laid his snout
and his tail in the Bay of Biscay
That great, incredible, wonderfully edible mar
vel of a Christmas pig
Two hundred butchers went to work
with cleavers, knives and choppers
It took them just on seven years
to cut off one of his trotters
One knuckle bone they had for lunch,
so in Hyde Park they took it
And had to boil a serpentine
in a vain attempt to cook it
That great, incredible,
wonderfully edible
marvel of a Christmas pig!
The bones were sent to
flour mills
to be ground up for flour
That's logical, filled 300 ,000 sacks
in less than half an hour
On Christmas Eve the queue began,
as far as I remember
They were still there
serving meals from him
the following September
That great, incredible,
wonderfully edible
marvel of a Christmas pig!
That great, incredible,
wonderfully edible,
marvel of a wonderful Christmas Day!