The Great East Broadway
Onion Championship
of 1978
I was love with Texas the other night,
drinking beer and about half tight.
Me and Paul and Jim
and a guy named Al.
We were drawing pictures
and writing songs,
sitting there talking for too long.
Paul said we ought to move this party
over to Stubbs.
The smoke was hanging low and thick
and the guitar man was hunting licks
and Joe Ely was in the back
room shooting pool.
Now we all went back there to check it out
and Joe said, well, now shut my mouth.
I heard the old story,
teller knows how to handle a stick.
I said, I've had chalk on better clothes
and y 'all know how that stuff goes.
Pretty soon we shooting pool
and just raising hell.
The Great East Broadway
Onion Championship
of 1978
Joe and me kind of drew a crowd
The place got drunk
and the place got loud
And Joe reached over in his sack
and pulled out a big ol' onion
He placed that onion on
the belt and said
Here's where you're gonna
need some help
We're gonna use that hamburger helper
for a cue ball
Then Joe picked up a big ol' broom
And he waved it all around the room
Said, I'm gonna play that onion cue ball
with a broomstick
We battled back and forth all night
The tears were streaming from our eyes
And I had that onion
for an eight ball
in the corner pocket
Now the place got quiet as a mouse
And we told the guitar man to lay out
And I could barely see that onion
for all that grass
But I sipped a beer and fought back tears
And watched that eight ball disappear
And the whole damn town of Lubbock,
Texas went wild
And amidst the yelling and the cheers
Joe said y 'all wait till next year
and that's how I won the Onion
Broadway Championship of 78.
The Great East Broadway Onion
Championship of 1978.
And I want to thank all the small people
that made me what I am today.
The Great East Broadway Onion
Championship of 78.
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