Me and Oliver and Virgil was down
at the drugstore killing time
when my eye fell upon this magazine.
And I got to reading this article
about skydiving and parachutes
and I said, jumping out of an airplane,
that's a thing.
Now being raised out on a farm
and always ready for adventure,
I knew that I could figure out a way.
Well, but Delmar Gill's
got a parachute,
Uncle Harvey's got a plane,
so I said, Call the boys together,
today's the day.
Now I found out too late
that what Uncle Harvey
called an airplane
wasn't really nothing
but an engine and a wing.
And I could feel my fear rising
as Delmar packed up my parachute,
but he kept on telling me,
Oh, you're doing the right thing.
Ron McLaughlin shook my hand
and he strapped me in the harness,
and Tilden brought a jug
to pass around.
Well, I took one look at that parachute
and the whiskey and that airplane,
and I turned that bottle up
and drank it down.
Oh, I was drunker than Cooter Jones
when they boarded me in the plane,
and that old engine coughed
and we headed for the clouds.
Boy, I was sober as a judge
when Harvey opened up that door,
and I ain't never heard my
heart beat quite so loud.
I said, Harvey, I can't do it,
but he kicked me out the door,
but I wrapped my hand
s around the landing gear.
And I was holding on pretty good,
and Harvey stomped on my fingers,
and Virgil said he heard me scream
from way down there
I thanked God and Delmar Gill
when that parachute finally opened
And I said, well, hell,
there ain't no use to be afraid
Then I went crashing through
the hen house
Scattering chickens and breaking eggs
And I kissed the ground and
fainted dead away
Now friends, I fought some battles
I've been shot at once or twice
and I damn near got run over by a train.
But in my whole -born put -togethers,
I ain't never been as scared
as the day I jumped from
Uncle Harvey's plane.