Tonalité : Bb major
Verse 1
D
C
G
F
C
Ray's guitar broke.
F
No, we won't play Rawhide,
won't play anything.
We'll play the theme from the Dinah
Shore show.
Who wants to be Dinah Shore?
Who's alter- ego is Dinah Shore?
Gm
F
Oh, his fists didn't go up so quickly this time. Yawn,
D
G
Bm
F
C
G
yawn, yawn.
F
C
Bm
G
F#5
F
C
E5
F
F#5
Bm
Eb
F
Put those headphones on, it's be- bop time.
Gm
F
Gm
Interlude 1
D
F
G
C
Bm
C
Am
G
C
D
F
Gm
D
I want to tell you a story
Verse 2
C
Bb
F
G
C
about the
D
Dm
F
C
last time I was in Portland.
Bm
C
The night before we played
G
D
G
at the Long Goodbye.
C
I was walking on the street
F
G
about 10:30 at night.
F
C
Am
Eb
A lot of people go to bed around here
D
Eb
Gm
F
Em
at 10:30 at night.
C
Bb
F
And well, I was walking along when
Gm
F
suddenly these jocks in this
Gm
F#5
F
C
D
Bm
C
bright blue pickup drove up. It had KC lights,
G
tractor tires,
Gm
C
everything but the CB. It was a life- size Hot
Am
A5
D
C
G
Wheels car for some dumb rich kid,
Bm
C
C#
D
F#5
right. Well,
Ab
G
Am
F
they drove up to me
C
G
C
and they yelled what dumb rich kids usually yell,
F
"Hey, faggot,"
C
E5
Bb
Gm
C
and showered me with some
Bb
F
Gm
Bm
D
G
Em
wa ter.
D
Bm
C
D
C
F
So, I stood there thinking,
Eb
Gm
F
E5
Bm
what a bunch of fuckheads and picked up a rock.
Bb
Gm
Now, I waited,
Bm
G
E5
Gm
walked down about a block to
D
Bb
where the Kentucky Fried Chicken is,
D
Bb
Gm
on Burnside,
C
F
and sure enough they drove
Gm
F
C
around again.
F
Bm
C
They said, "Hey, faggot,
D
A5
Am
D
E5
where's the nearest McDonald's?" I said,
F
"I don't know" and they
Eb
squirted me again.
D
Gm
G
Gm
F
C
So I threw the rock and put a nice- size dent
F
G
Gm
C
Gm
in their giant Hot Wheels car.
F
G
They screeched to a halt in the park
C
ing lot of some department store,
G
F
D
who's name I don't remember,
Am
Bm
C#
D
it's up the street from Fred Meyer,
F
Gm
G
D
C
and they got out their clubs and they ran after me,
D
yelling,
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"We're gonna kill you, you god damn faggot,
F
we're gonna kill you,
G
D
you motherfucker."
G
Gm
F
C
Bb5
Gm
So I got in a phone booth by
G
D
F
C
the Kentucky Fried Chicken on Burnside,
Bm
C
Am
C
held my legs straight out like this so
D
they couldn't open the door
Em
F
F#5
F
to the phone booth. So they began
Am
D
charging the phone booth,
G
beating on it with their club,
C
yelling,
D
Gm
C
"We're gonna kill you, you motherfucker,
D
G
Am
we're gonna kill you,
Bb
Bm
C
you god damn fag got." I just
G
C
D
Gm
looked at them.
G
C
Am
Bm
So, there was a crowd gath
C
ering by this time
D
Em
F
and these kids were standing
G
nearby an d they said,
E5
Eb
D
Eb
D
Eb
Gm
G
"Oh, look at him, he's insane." I thought,
C
Em
C
Gm
Bb
ah- hah, here's my way out.
D
G
I yelled at them,
D
Gm
Eb
C
G
"Take me to a mental hospital right away.
Gm
G
I want to be be put away.
C
Gm
G
C
Please put me away, c'mon,
G
D
F
call the cops and put me away.
Bb
F
Please put me away now."
D
F
C
G
Em
They said, "Alright, faggot,
G
Bm
G
C
F
Gm
F
C
we're calling the police." So they called the police.
Gm
F
Gm
C
Gm
F
The cop comes out and I go, ah, my savior,
Bm
Ab
B5
I'm away from these jocks.
F
He opens up the door,
Gm
"Get out of there, you,"
Bm
F
E5
F
throws me up against the car, frisks me,
D
C
shoves me in the back.
Then he goes over to the jocks,
F
Gm
F
Eb
D
"Now what happened here?
Ab
Gm
It looks like we're going
G
A5
have to take him to jail
C
F
but we got to have the full
Gm
F
D
story first"
Gm
C
Gm
C
So the jocks, who had an ace in the hole,
Gm
G
F
G
ace in the hole
Gm
G
Take down on the bass,
Gm
C
Gm
D
C
a little bit down on the bass. Yeah,
Gm
G
C
ace in the hole, and they go, "Well,
Gm
goddammit,
the motherfucker put a dent in my truck,
C
a $5000 truck, right,
Gm
so I got my club,
F
I went out and I wanted to kill him.
D
F
D
F
I want to kill him. Let me kill him,
goddammit.
Gm
F
Let me kill him."
D
F
C
Bb
So the cop made them go home,
C
Gm
G
C
and he drove me home,
F
C
Am
Bm
an d he confiscated their club and my
C
Em
F
rock as further evidence.
Gm
F
Eb
And I thought, so this is Oregon,
Ab
Gm
huh? Tolerant Oregon?
F
Gm
Verse 3
Am
F
Bm
Ray, are you done with your guitar yet?
C
Gm
Em
D
He isn't done yet.
C#
C
So what else do you want to hear,
Gm
I'm out of stories.
That's a true story, too. Just ask Bruce Loose
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