Tonalité : F# minor
Verse 1
Em
C
Ayy, I can only hide it for so
Em
long
So many moments that
I want to say so long
So many missed calls, so many mistakes
C
So many mishaps, energy misplaced
People I misjudge,
Em
target and misuse
Togetherness misgrew me,
Karen's a mismove
Never saw my value,
looking at me as Miss Price
Now I'm giving back space,
letters I've mistyped
C
Feel like I've been misled,
ain't finding the love for me
Em
But I'm never alone,
C
misery loves company
Em
She really fuck with me,
but she ain't fucking me
It's like I'm a system,
C
I'm making everyone run from me
And I sit and watch them leave
Em
Cause I wanna see y happy
even without me
If it meant I starved, I'd see y feast
So before y 'all peace,
I beg to speak my peace
Now, everyday there's
a word that I question
And it's becoming an absurd obsession
Even when I'm with her, obsessin'
Cause I really hate the word depression
C
Cause I'll be fine,
Em
everything'll be fine
And then I sit and overthink
and start seeing the lies
From people that say they love me
Looking right at my eyes
and how you all annoy me
And I'm looking at you like flies,
C
but I still give you everything
Em
Until the day that I die,
I still give you everything
Until the day that I die
I still give you everything
Until the day that I die
I still give you everything
Until the day that I die
And that
C
Em
Kinda sound perfect right now
C
But I'm too pussy to do it
So I'm hurting right now
Em
I don't even know how I'm
working right now
When I could be smoking
But this loud ain't working right now
C
In a state of being lost
I don't know where my mind at
On a search for stability
But don't know where to find at
Em
Hiding the sorrow with the flies
That I smile at
C
But drowning in it
Em
C
When I'm back where I lie at
And then I vanish
No one to see me in my mind at
Em
C
Tears dripping with the hits
That I high hat
Em
It's a fucking clown
C
That can't handle his emotions
G
C
I might as well had a kawaii laugh,
a fucking joke,
and I don't fucking learn
Em
C
Not everyone is down for you, get evil
Em
Stop giving permanent treatment
to temporary people
G
C
Not every love is your precious,
Em
stop acting like Smeagol
C
But I give and I give and they take
Em
B
C
And I give and I give and they take
Em
And when there's nothing to benefit from
G
And they leave
C
I just sit feeling punched in the face
And there's so much I've
been trying to say
Em
C
And it gets on my nerves like an itch
Em
But I can't cause I gotta
act strong for these fans
I don't know cause I look like a bitch
C
And that's hard cuz I feel like
I'm startin' to break
Em
Lookin' in the mirror only
C
seein' somethin' I hate
Em
Like, what the fuck happened to me?
Why the fuck am I like this?
Why the fuck am I not alright?
Why the fuck did I fight this?
C
I hate your face, I hate your voice
Em
C
I hate your place, I hate your poise
Em
I hate your thoughts, the words you pen
I'll be happy if I didn't
have to see you again
C
Em
But I can't help but stand there
C
Em
Lookin' deep into my own brown eyes
I just stand there
C
Tryna fix my relationship with my moms
B
C
Got a brother that got me with these scars
Em
Cuz every bit of stress and pain
she directed at me
C
was from the shit you caused
You were busy being big,
bloody gangster nigga
Em
B
But got the nerve to sit in
jail and wonder
C
Em
Why I want nothing to do with you,
C
I grew up to be through with you
I never could've said
I'ma get my older brother like
What the fuck is even family?
Em
C
Holidays coming, no one at the table
Em
Uncle straight say ing
that my shit gon' fail
And I should go with his corny ass
C
and learn to do cable
Fuck you and fuck that cable
I got it buried in my goddamn brain
Em
That family ain't shit if they don't act it
C
Em
Our only connection is our last name
C
And what the fuck is even friendship
Em
The family you choose,
C
this is due attention
Em
And due to fools and what they choose to do
C
I got a couple of fools that
led me to reflectin'
This one nigga I've known since
I was fuckin' three
B
My motherfuckin' bro on God's son
C
Em
An d now we at the point where I don't
C
know if my God's son's
still my God's son
I've been fucked up for a minute now
Didn't admit it, but I admit it now
Em
Didn't have it in me to cut ties
C
Cause I love my niggas but I did it now
Give a fuck about some time spent
Our childhood long gone nigga
Em
We grew up and I wasn't your boy
G
Just a nigga you knew you
C
bring along nigga
And our other homie just had a daughter
B
Em
And I don't know how
C
attached to get
Cause this nigga always
Em
got me feelin'
Like we aren't close at all
He just hasn't said it
C
Motherfuckers only call
Em
when they need me
And sayin' shit like when you
C
gonna start showin' up
Em
But never see if I'm dyin' inside
It makes me so sick
C
I've been throwin' up
All alone in my room,
Em
I've been going nuts
Doing streams,
C
trying to cope with the bullshit
Em
But as soon as the games are all over
C
It's like I'm right back in the ball pit
I'm done wearing the mask
Em
C
B
I'm done wearing the smile
Em
I don't give a fuck
if we talking or not
It's not like we have in a while
C
It's not like it matters to y 'all
Em
C
And I couldn't be madder at y 'all
Em
Cause I got this weird void in my heart
from my younger me
C
Em
C
Screaming I don't matter to y 'all
And I've always tried laughing it off
Cause we been through so much,
but after it all
Em
I don't know if I'm ever
C
gonna rock with you
Even when I get plaques on the wall
Can't say I got a real
good support system
But I guess that's how this shit goes
Em
Niggas down, I'll be all up in the videos
C
Em
C
But never wanna pull up to a show
Em
No hands extent I take
care of the seeds,
C
every heat and snow
Em
Motherfuckers always
love to reap the benefits
C
The hate water and the plants to grow
So I just want my mans to know
When I got all this cash to throw
Em
You can keep that same damn energy
C
You can stay your ass at home
We can be cool and all that
But don't think that means
Em
You're doing anything more in person
C
You can sit and watch from a screen
I got so much fucking love to give
And I spread that shit out
to ones that don't deserve it
Em
But never have it in me
to cease to love y 'all
C
Em
No matter how much that I sit here hurting
C
For ain't always telling
me I'm fucking up
Em
C
And I'll never be shit but a mockery
Em
And I can't share these thoughts
with a fucking soul
Cause they won't try to
C
make the shit stop for me
Em
This ain't even a cry for help,
C
this shit more like therapy
Em
Keeping everything bottled inside
made me my own enemy
C
I ain't a pill popper and
Em
I don't really drink
C
This the shit that keep me feeling alive
Em
I said feeling alive,
I ain't been feeling alive
Before this I was damn near feeling I'd die
C
Em
Does this make me soft as a man?
C
Em
This is an L, I'ma hold it
I'm tired of being hopeless
And making shitty people stay the closest
C
How pathetic am I that
B
Em
I'm this torn up
B
But can't fucking show it,
Em
cause I'm worried about
how y 'all think,
and what y 'all feel,
C
and all my opportunities blowin'
I think I need help,
Em
C
or maybe I just gotta toughen up
Em
Before I really start snappin'
and end up puttin' rounds to
C
your bodies like I'm buttin' up
Em
Maybe I need a vacation,
C
B
or I should just move to the state
C
Em
Or maybe I should give
C
in to the little me,
Em
C
sayin' I should put a fucking gun in my face
I don't know who to fucking talk to,
Em
C
I don't know who the fuck's a homie
Em
I don't know who really cares,
C
or who wants me to open up just to be nosy
I don't know what to turn to,
I don't know what'll help me cope
Em
C
I don't know, I don't fucking know,
Em
C
if I should even hold on to hope
I don't know no more,
Em
C
I don't know where to
Em
go no more
What to say or to show no more,
C
I just really don't know no more
I don't know no more,
I don't know where to go no more
Em
Em
What to say, gotta show no more,
I just really don't know no more
C
Em
I don't know, I don't fucking know
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